Monday, November 05, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd


A married couple from the town of Hell, Michigan just won the lottery so the hilarious headlines are flying left right and center. “Heaven in Hell”, “One Hell of a Lucky Day” , oh GOD, I’m dying. I really am. I mean, the town’s called Hell. Jesus, you could base a career on something like that. Good old small town America. You may marry your own brothers and sisters but at least you’ve got a sense of humour. Anyway, so these people from Hell (HA! There it is AGAIN!) won $115,001 on Halloween. By this rationale, you could almost cover anything that happens in Hell. Dentist from HELL eats lunch, dog from HELL shits on garden – oh, I can’t be bothered. [source]

In preparation for the Beijing Olympics, Beijing has installed a huge ferris wheel which they’re calling the Great Wheel of China. Because, there’s a Great Wall so….this is a funny play on that. Except that ferris wheels aren’t actually that interesting. I mean you spend the first 10 minutes just waiting for people to get on and off and then you go on a couple of circuits and then they make you get off. There’s no catering on board because that would be impossible, there’s also no really challenging speed. It’s really just pleasant circular motion. And then BANG, you realize you spend 10 freaking dollars on nothing. But, maybe the Chinese are hoping this will distract attention from their rat infused restaurants in the south, lack of crispy duck at public urinals, and bad record on human rights abuse. Yay Olympics! The Olympics bring out the needy, fame hungry whore in every city. Trust me. [source]


A new species of pig has been found in the Amazonian rainforest by a Dutch biologist called a "caitetu munde", meaning "great peccary which lives in pairs". How often do you get news like THAT!? This is no mystery beast that ends up being a coyote and it’s also no lost obese child star. It’s an actual species of wild pig that hasn’t been seen before. It sure has a lot of catching up to do starting with e mail. Maybe it will move to a new town and go to school and because it’s unaccustomed to local culture and contemporary technology there will be all MANNER of crazy capers. Its popularity will grow and then wane and then grow again. Particularly on graduation day. [source]

1 comment:

Faith Cohen said...

Hell is really not yet having reached the half-way point on my 3 day Amtrak trek across the country. We hit a cow somewhere in New Mexico. I'm guessing that won't be appearing on Page Six.