The Reluctant Whore

The New York Post and People Magazine and, well let’s face it, pretty much every other media outlet in the universe have reported that documents about exactly how much money Britney Spears makes and then spends have been released to the public (because, we were totally in dire need of that information) and it’s more or less as follows:

Britney's Expenses:
• $102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation
• $49,267 on mortgage payments
• $16,000 on clothes
• $4,758 on eating out
• $2,500 on phone bills


And now it’s a little clearer why Britney hasn’t completely crashed and burnt herself away at this point. $102,000 a month on entertainment alone can keep a lot of sadness and horrifying self realization at bay. This was my theory all along – that Britney was buying the meltdown away. With that amount of money being funneled out to restaurants, hotels, Starbucks and whatever the hell else she buys…WIGS, that’s it – well, hair treatments now since she’s passed through the awkward intermediate hair stage that had her looking like a lesbian math teacher from 1982, she can keep herself padded from realizing the languid chaotic seal she’s become.


Meanwhile, look at Federline.

Kevin's Expenses:

• $5,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation

• $7,500 on rent

• $2,000 on clothes

• $1,500 on eating out

• $750 on phone bills

I'm really astounded he isn't spending more money on clothes. To look like a wigger pimp takes some cash. You can never really be seen in the same outfit twice when you’re a wigger pimp rapper asshole white trash rat faced brother having pimp moocher. Otherwise, people start to doubt your commitment to your goal of being a supported by a financially independent woman. He better keep those kids or its life aspirations down the toilet.

The rent part I also don’t understand. In New York City 7500 a month is a lot of money let alone in LA. Where is he living? A white trash pimp wigger pimp mansion? Maybe he needs the extra bedrooms for his hos. You gotta have hos when you’re a white trash pimp wigger trash pimp ass ghetto pimp ass. [source]