Monday, November 05, 2007

The painfully razor jawed Dannii Minogue has a new album out called “Unleashed” which drops today and, what a surprise, it’s all essentially gay dance club music and it’s also not that great. Let’s be fair, I haven’t heard it but that’s what the astonishingly blunt review on “In the News” has published and look, they’re pretty much spot on about everything else "Dannii".

The thing about Dannii that is actually far more fascinating than her music career and the fact that she’s a judge on some show in the UK called X-Factor is that she’s got newsreader appeal. You just want her to crack and make a mistake and let it all out.

Having spent her entire life trying to be her sister and never quite making it but she never really had a tremendous breakdown in public. There were the times when she would appear, having had facial surgery so she could look like Kylie and it was almost too weird (it could never really be TOO weird, at a certain point it just keeps getting more entertaining) but ultimately you just know there’s an ocean of rage and resentment behind all that tightened skin and Australian ex-pat status anxiety.

Here’s her music video for "All I Wanna Do" when she was in her “maybe you’ll think I’m Kylie and you’ll give me a career for that” phase:


So, back to her anxiety. Yeah, it's safe to say there's a massive ocean of rage and crippling depressed ego inside that woman that is kept at bay by the odd appearance in the trash media and the release of a mechanical album aimed squarely at the gay community because pepped up gay, club going teenagers are seriously the only people deranged enough to buy her schmaltz and approach her delicate ego with a sense of empathy as well as cruel delighted irony.

I really want her to swear in public or on TV. Or just SOMETHING. She's always so innocuous and hot-wannabe. How can you come out with something like THIS:

and not have a planet of awestruck horror reach out and choke you every time you look in the mirror. [source]

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