Monday, December 04, 2006


The Race to Become Most Unpleasant European Nation in which to Celebrate Christmas 2006

Maybe it's because of their long standing role as the figurehead of Los Angeles flavoured Satanism or maybe it's just because, at the end of the day, goats are really only ever going to be the b-list rope in when sheep aren't available. Either way, it makes sense that the Swedes seem reticent to accept an official giant Christmas goat.

That idea is confirmed too, when you take into consideration this quote:

"For 40 years it has been torched, vandalized, had its legs cut off and even been run over by a car. But officials in the Swedish city of Gavle are guaranteeing that this year's giant straw Christmas goat — the victim of Sweden's most violent yule tradition — will survive unscathed"

When will those officials stop risking their careers with outrageous promises they can't possibly keep? The Swedish Christmas goat of Gavle will probably NOT survive because it hasn't managed to in 40 years. Why? Because it's more than likely that no one there LIKES giant Christmas goats. Just writing the words "Giant", "Christmas" and "Goat" together feels like an abomination. It feels like a cultural abomination.

Giant Christmas Goats are the Gayle King of International Christmas traditions. There's nothing that can be done to stop the indifference and underlying festering inclination to just quickly cause it pain.

Now, a Christmas Peacock? That would be genius. Maybe only in South East Asia though.

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