Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Daily News reports that Michael Phelps is going to appear on Saturday Night Live in the coming weeks and he’s also confirmed as a guest presenter for the MTV VMAs which is thrilling news.

These are the appearances that are going to suck and they’re going to make people go “Ok, he is boring but at least he is the greatest swimmer ever and can fall back on that”. With the exception of Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live is usually tedious. Consequently, putting a whole lot of blah comics together with Michael Phelps whose main schtick is that he’s fast in the water (something that simply can’t be showcased on a sketch comedy show) – we’re bound for a doosey of a night in. I’m canceling my bridge game for that night and inviting the boys over for a night of crying.

Oh my god…I can just see it now. Andy Samberg sitting there feeling threatened so he makes jokes about how he could swim faster than Michael Phelps in a classroom or office setting and then suddenly Michael Phelps walks in, playing himself but still stuttering through badly written lines. The audience cheers, actors feign surprise and they leave Samberg standing there by himself. What’s going to happen now? Oh, gosh, I wouldn’t like to be Andy Samberg right now: this is entertaining!

Then Samberg repeatedly shows that, in fact, he isn’t as fast as Michael Phelps because Michael Phelps is a really fast athlete – he’s a gold medal winner! Arkansas and Staten Island laughs for ten minutes, Andy Samberg remains inexplicably employed on TV, Michael Phelps is still an American Demagogue and everyone in an urban center smiles awkwardly and tries to forget the whole thing.

Now, if Andy Samberg and Michael Phelps decided to oil wrestle in loose fitting American Apparel underwear – that would be a totally different thing. [source]

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