Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Ever since Paris Hilton started doing things again, everything has been so much more …oh, what’s the word… …yeah.

OK! Magazine is reporting that the newly reincarnated zeitgeist is being sued by The Worldwide Entertainment Group because she failed to promote their film “National Lampoon – Pledge This!” a cinematic gem that brought in 1.5 million dollars and is ranked as the 15th worst film of all time. The worst being her other incredible seminal piece “The Hottie and the Nottie”. Jesus, just writing that shit makes me feel intellectually numb.

And you know what else I hate? OH! This makes me so fucking mad. When Hilton said the phrase “Loves it”. It’s like this fucking irritating meta narrative that has to occur because that way she can refer to herself as a product and be too cool to be present. Wow, I wish I was where YOU are Paris Hilton.

The great part about this, though, is that Paris failed to promote something. All she’s good at is promoting and she failed at it. But then you have to remember that promoting things for Paris is merely the byproduct of her relentlessly self indulgent and self obsessed lifestyle. It all stems from that so if the motivation wasn’t there – Paris can’t be expected to actually produce anything. Plus, she is probably unsure how she even makes money seeing as all she’s ever REALLY done is turn up and flash parts of her body at people and be thin and easy. Maybe she forgot she was in the movie, maybe there were other things around her that were yielding more praise of her being – like a large mirror. Who knows?

All I know is, I am really fighting the urge to slam my god damned head against a brick wall while shoveling frosting into my mouth right now because I feel like that would be less painful than thinking about Paris Hilton’s acting career. [source]

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