Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Oh, look at that…a way to have bird shit spread all over your face AND be able to pay for it. Finally.

Fox News is reporting that The Geisha Facial given at Shizuka New York, a day spa in midtown Manhattan is offering a facial made out of ground up nightingale droppings and rice bran for a quick witted 200 dollars. What a marvelous opportunity.

It’s been a while since the good old days of the 25,000 dollar dessert, the bull semen hair treatments, famished fish based exfoliation technique in the Mediterranean, green tea nail polish, caffeine infused soap, placenta extra face serum but here we are revisiting the old material.

Look, I mean, what do you really want to know here? You get nightingale shit, dry it, powder it, mix it with other crap, slap it on your head, lie there while Japanese women tip toe around you, they wash it off, you get up, pay money and then you walk out and as you leave, you probably feel stupid because you really just wanted to fill the crippling void within you with something but you ended up finding out that Nightingale shit on the face wasn’t what your soul needed.

Wow, what a soul destroying surprise THAT must have been.
Incidentally, now that I've been thinking about nightingales, I've been reminded of the Disney version of Cinderella which I watched about 25 times as a kid. It's all about nuance for me when it comes to that film - I don't even notice the plot anymore.

Here's the God Damned Nightingale song. Don't you just want to get that cat and beat it to death with a sack of door knobs?


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