Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Ricky Martin just had twin boys through the use of a surrogate mother – presumably so he could keep his figure during his extremely demanding schedule of international touring and performing.

Oh, wait – look at that, he WON’T be touring, he’ll be taking the rest of the year off. Here’s a quote from the official statement:

"The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky's full-time care," said the statement. "Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children."

Ok, well – that’s not such a bad thing, after all his face was basically everywhere and maybe he was in danger of over exposure.

I remember when he was the SHIT actually. It was in like 1999 and he was everywhere. In fact, I remember there was a sex phone line that was free to listen to but you had to pay to put messages on it – I think that was the deal anyway. So, I called it and it genuinely seemed like half the Western Suburbs of Sydney had recorded the same damn sex fantasy: “Oh…hi guys…ok…well, my fantasy is to get Ricky Martin and… blah blah blah”. I never listened to the rest of the message, I just wanted to see how many straight, suburban Greek Australians fantasized about Ricky Martin. Because they all sounded Greek and straight, they’d say his name in a really Greek Australian way too. They’d say Reeki Mahden”. Yeah, the nights I would listen to those were some pretty low impact Wednesday nights. Mind you, this was pre-9/11 though, so …who knows what I was thinking.

So, to recap – Ricky Martin has twins through a surrogate mother – presumably because like Clay Aiken he wants kids but would prefer not to sexually enter a woman. Also, that means we’ll be seeing even less of him which presumably means he’ll cease to reflect light and will actually vanish. [source]

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