Monday, October 08, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

After a career based on, among other equally crap things, the relentless pursuit and destruction of civil rights for gay people followed by an arrest for apparently trying to pick up another guy for sex in an airport bathroom which then followed on to a humiliating call for him to be sacked or to step down, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho is, without irony, being inducted into the Idaho Hall of fame. So, what does that mean? They’ll have a wax effigy of him on a toilet looking sheepish and they’ll put that next to the potato? I mean, look, I’m saying Idaho isn’t on par with New York or California, for its contributions to culture I mean, who would dare say THAT? What I’m maybe saying here is that Idaho might possibly be able to do better than…ah, than….Senator Larry Craig. Still, it’s nice that he’ll get some good press. Alarmingly, some Republicans don’t think he should be included. [source]

Some douchebag in England named Alan Jenkins just spent 2000 dollars getting the faces of his two daughters and his wife tattooed on his back and then just after he did his wife said she was divorcing him to be with another man. He responded by saying "It's a real sickener. I thought she was happy. I had it because I thought we loved each other - I feel very betrayed." It sure is a sickener. And here’s why: this guy is one of those people who have a pretty average life and remain essentially good natured but simple the whole time, never quite evolving beyond what they do day in and day out and then eventually they do something ludicrous like tattoo pictures of the fam on their back. Psychopaths kill people but these people aren’t psychopaths. There’s nothing essentially wrong with them at all except for general aesthetics. There was some rancid woman I saw who was getting married and she wanted life sized fiberglass cows at her wedding and you just know she drinks Midori and Sprite every Saturday night as she goes out for a (fat) girl’s night out. Alan Jenkins will probably marry that woman. [source]

A rare blue diamond just sold in Hong Kong for 7.98 million US dollars to “Moussaieff Jewellers" in London making it the most expensive gem in the world. So, really, all that needs to happen now is for it to be placed at the top of a crochembouche and sold for 14 million dollars to some douchebag rich kid in New York for their sweet sixteen or bar mitzvah. That’s generally what happens with these maddeningly expensive jewels; they end up in desserts at some hotel. Oh, look, if it makes the kids happy. Why not. It’s not like they don’t deserve it. [source]

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