Ben Widdicombe writes in Gatecrasher that Owen Wilson is potentially dating Jessica Simpson after the two were seen out in some restaurant in LA. Then you have Dlisted.com and WWTDD.com calling him out for being an unhealed mess and tearing her apart for being a ludicrous low self esteem riddled, cheap ass vaginal centric carnival ride for emotionally stunted men in the fly over states. I embellished that last bit of the sentence but it felt right.
But you know, the thing about this is – maybe Owen Wilson isn’t necessarily doing anything entirely stupid here. Maybe dating Simpson is the best thing for him. She’s sort of like a walking anti-depressant anyway once you take away that mistaken expectation that she function like a human. I mean, she’s crafted and programmed to specifically target parts of the brain in straight men and, you know – some rare lesbians – so that there’s a chemical reaction and they buy into the product and ogle her in movies or whatever the hell work she’s doing right now.
Maybe this kind of cheap, highly predictable, utterly brainless sexual robot is exactly what Owen Wilson needs to get his complex ass back in gear. I mean, if he dated some real, intelligent, sweater wearing dark haired NYU student chick people would wonder what’s wrong with her and they’d tear her apart. With Jessica Simpson no one has any expectation that she would ever fulfill the criteria of human as she’s clearly just a product so the entire thing is just about rehabilitation for Wilson.
Plus, the other added bonus for Wilson when it comes to Simpson is that if he ever gets overwhelmed by her incessant need and mindless Southern chatter he can just switch her off and put her away. Easy. [source]