Wednesday, October 10, 2007

So, I'm currently in transit on my way to Sydney from New York and I'm stuck in San Fran - posts are random at the moment.

In the meantime, the rundown of some dumb ass celebrity crap from the Post is as follows. For some reason I can't post images on this computer. Damn everything to god damned hell:

George Clooney, now even more heterosexual.

George Clooney is apparently now making out with women, or a woman at least, in public. Not that this is based on anything but I always thought he was gay. I mean, it's based on what I've been told by people who apparently know - but then, isn't more or less everything? For someone as bankable as Clooney, it seems pretty calculated to all of a sudden be breaking down this barrier. Maybe his people thought it was time to take a little leaf out of the Cruise Corp handbook. Honestly, though, right now my feet hurt cause I'm wearing new shoes. [source]

Miss Universe is above the security threat.

Apparently, being Miss Universe means you can't be a terrorist. The New York Post reports that Miss Universe, Riyo Mori, just had to flash her sash (which frankly, when you boil away all the arbitrary marketing is really just gash) and she was let on a domestic flight from New York to Bloomington, Illinois despite the fact that she has no ID. Good old dumb ass air port security. There's so much maddening emphasis placed on shoes and belts and laptops and nail scissors but you know that the high school educated cretin who is on the ground looking for the day to day threats is as dumb as a box of hair. Consequently, they get dazzled at the sight of something as inane and culturally nauseating as a pageant winner. Good old everything. [source]

Lou Pearlman, now even more alluring an viscerally present. My teeth hurt.

Lou Pearlman, the morbidly obese alleged boyband molester has shot back at Vanity Fair for not checking their facts in the story they printed which stated that he wrestled with young boys wearing a towel that came off in the rumble. It's nice that Page Six gave us that visual image in the first place let alone the fact that they've graciously followed up with Pearlman's side of the story. Pearlman stated to Page Six that he's never owned a towel that could possibly fit around his waist. I'm not sure I've ever felt more like both immediately eating lunch and doing what I can to really visualise what it must be like for Pearlman to shower eah day. Maybe he just has a pile of towels he rolls around in after the shower and then some servant picks them up. That's both calming AND arousing. Also, Lou Pearlman's gut instinct is certain an interesting cultural entity. With his momentus size coupled with the accusations about how he's a fraud not to mention the pederast issues, it seems he's never been served well by it? Go ahead Lou, eat the can of frosting from the tips of the fingers of an Indonesian house boy. Nothing could possible be wrong with that. [source]

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