Monday, October 08, 2007

Hollywood Rag reports that Britney went out and while she was gone her house was robbed. That’s feasible and everything because in her stumbling fast food needing haze she may very well have left the door unlocked or something.

The part of this story that’s sort of suspect is that the report then goes on to state that the items taken were “ Britney's collection of raunchy homemade sex tapes as well as a selection of the singer's steamiest photographs. Some of the uniforms Britney allegedly wears for kinky sex games and personal pictures of her sons, two-year-old Sean Preston, and one-year-old Jayden James, were also taken.”
Notice how they complete the list with something little and cute so it’s not as easy to consider it just completely ludicrous. It’s just a little too convenient that yet again there’s a massive hemorrhage of Britney Spears as she’s floundering about trying to get by on a diet of preservative packed meat, 32 ounce frappacino milkshakes with 4-5 shots of espresso and this time it’s her ENTIRE collection of sex artifacts.
We weren’t sure that she was really into kink but look, now we know. All that’s left to explore is the contents of her bowels which, considering what she eats, is probably just a hard ball of high fructose corn syrup, plastic and gristle.
So, now what? We’re meant to wait for the bidding war to begin on her sex tapes? Actually, truthfully, K-Fed might be a total douchebag rat faced white trash gigolo who is sort of only surpassed by Spencer Pratt in the manipulation stakes but, unlike Pratt, he’d probably come up well in porn. He may have to sooner or later anyway. [source]

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