Monday, October 20, 2008

With eight days to go until her new album, Funhouse, drops, it’s time for Pink to start drumming up some press and seeing as Britney is genuinely more insane and now together and productive than Pink has ever been, it’s difficult for her to go the old route of “I’m an anti-establishment punk rocker with complex hair and a boyish figure” to get the kids interested. Now, she’s been reduced to retroactive tales of alcoholism that was never technically alcoholism.

She is quoted as saying:

"I checked into Canyon Ranch in Tucson, Arizona, in the summer and I went to see a therapist, telling him I was an alcoholic. He asked me when I'd had my last drink and I couldn't remember - it had been a few weeks previously. I then read the AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) manual cover to cover and we talked. I realised I wasn't an alcoholic, just someone who likes to get drunk every now and again. I'm trying to work out if that's a bad thing."

Isn’t that great? She is not actually an alcoholic, she’s just trying to figure out if it’s ok to go out and get hammered every now and then. So, essentially, there’s no real story here at all…but then, if you think about it, there never really was a story with her anyway. This is just the more truthful version of Pink.

In the wake of Britney's nervous breakdown and return, poor Avril Lavigne has gone and had her husband appear to be cheating on her to get some press and maybe even, ultimately, some integrity. I mean, that’s called focus. Pink needs to take notes from her contemporary faux rocker, Avril. They should get together and put an act together where they just throw up on each other for ten minutes and then they go backstage and change clothes into a fresh copy of the outfit they were originally wearing – something from the angry, pierced, pseudo lesbians line at Urban Outfitters – so they can keep their stylist’s recommendations but not have to do the rest of the show covered in vomit. That’s my suggestion. It’s that or I watch a marathon of Skins on BBC America and eat a jar of lemon curd. Not sure why, it just is and I really want the former. [source]

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