Friday, October 10, 2008

Now that his original cast of generic looking, anti-intellectual, LA whores have disbanded, Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner is shacking up with two 19 year old twins. Got to up the ante somehow and why not with some arbitrarily ignored incest? Look at the one on the left. She looks like her head was attacked by a fucking woodpecker. Not so identical now, are you girls? One of you has a stack of holes in your otherwise empty skull.

TMZ, however, is reporting that the twins he’s cast as his newest rent-a-holes have criminal records. What a joy this country is. Apparently, after work one night at the Wing House in Florida (let’s take a wild guess and assume that the Wing House is just a low(er) rent Hooters), the girls went out (I’d guess to the opening night party for La Traviata at the Florida State Opera), and one of them ended up smashing someone over the head with a beer bottle. Maybe they got into a fight in the interval about which one of them was more like Violetta. It’s ok girls, you’re both probably riddled with disease and you’ll both probably die early because of it or because you’ll walk into a wall one too many times while drunk on Alize or some other sugared up date rape alcoholic poison crap.

So, it’s sort of hard to pick apart which parts of the above paragraph are based in fact and which are just a product of my imagination but have a go. Suffice to say, there's a whole lot of irony involved. I’m certainly not interested in trying to write anything more than this.

My Flash drive backup of everything I’ve managed to collect and put together since my hard drive was stolen back in April or whenever it was, was stolen FROM MY OFFICE yesterday. Since then I’ve been mildly disillusioned with everything. Especially Hugh Hefner’s rancid whore girlfriends. [source]

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