Friday, October 10, 2008
James Franco, reports Jossip, has the most perfect face in the world and it’s been scientifically proven. There’s a computer program plastic surgeons use to figure out hat minor alterations people could make to their faces to make them more symmetrical or whatever, and the computer found nothing wrong with James Franco. I mean, his face. There are still those vague, inconclusive rape tendencies he may or may not have but at least his face is stunning.
Even here, on a Friday night, in the office near the Empire State Building, I can hear a soul crying out desperately for validation. I’m pretty sure it’s Zac Efron. Yes, I can hear the repressed woman in his wimpering. Poor Zac. All that cortisone and relentless throwing up so that your teeth are rotting can’t be good for you at the end of the day. That’s why James Franco came out on top. All he does is smoke pot and go to school to be a writer. You can’t really foster inner beauty in a genuinely marketable sense if you’re stuck in the bathroom all night trying to make sure your eye lashes are bent at the right angle and that zit is properly spackled over. No one wants to think about that.
Jesus, I’m fucking annoyed about this Flash drive. I bet it was one of those rancid delivery people. I bet they took it. It was sitting there, in the back of my laptop and it had a pretty blue light. Gosh, pretty blue = enough for a hit of crack and some shitty fucking fried chicken the next day. Why not just take it? Hell, if it’s in front of you that means it’s yours. Go for it. I’m bitter. Sue me. [source]