Friday, November 14, 2008

The New York Post reports that Naomi Campbell went to get on a British Airways flight, apparently the unpleasantness of her last encounter with them has been smoothed over, and Mariah Carey, her husband Nick Cannon and three security guards were already on board. That’s actually all they say. I’m not sure if the implication here is that because there were 5 other people on the plane Naomi Campbell was unable to fit; that seems unlikely. She is, after all, quite slender.

If we’re talking about egos though, then that’s another story. If egos took up space on a plane and actually needed to breathe air, with Mariah Carey on a plane by herself it seems reasonable that anyone else could suffocate within minutes.

What a nightmarish flight that would be for anyone at all involved. The airline staff particularly.

I can just see people walking off that flight looking like they’ve just walked out of a shock and awe campaign in the middle east.

In other news, last night I walked outside my apartment wearing no shoes because I just needed to race over the road and get money from an ATM. All of a sudden this fat New York sewer rat ran out and headbutted my bare heel and then ran into a crack in the wall.

Ok, so, sometimes I sit here and I think I see rats and mice under my desk and that is because I have seen mice in this office before and it is nightmarish. I have this serious fear of rats running up my legs and biting my face while squealing. I mean, it’s not something that plagues me relentlessly, it’s just something I imagine would be pretty unpleasant.

Imagine then, my head spinning horror to have a New York sewer rat run and hit my foot so that I could feel its wet fur on my flesh. I mean, I’m pretty sure my body is currently debating whether to reject my foot and to be honest, my foot feels less there.

So, yeah, great, Naomi Campbell gets on a plane with Mariah Carey and no doubt a whole blood stained deathmatch ensued over the color of a pillow or the fact that Mariah Carey’s husband wanted to use the bathroom and didn’t ask her first but you know what? I have rat foot and it’s still a bit weird. [source]

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