Thursday, December 11, 2008

According to Page Six, no one wants photos of the new baby to be born as a result of the union between Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson. They’ve been offering them round but no one cares because apparently no magazine editor believes the photos will sell. That makes sense , I think. Pete Wentz is meant to be so anti-establishment punk and Ashlee Simpson is the anti-Jessica and no one cares about Jessica Simpson anymore because she is appalling so when you get to the end of that equation there’s basically nothing left.

It’s at this point that Pete Wentz has to be kicking himself for bothering with the kid. Poor Pete Wentz. He sold out SO much that at the end of it all he had nothing but a chain of bars that are meant to be interesting, a relatively bland clothing line and some great but obviously laboured over hair and a rockin ass. Who could see THAT coming? Not me.

But, I suppose that the value of baby pictures is really proportional to the purity of the image of the parents. Middle aged women don’t want to gawk at photos of a demon baby with eyeliner or the baby of a hideous spoilt brat. They want pure movie star idealism and that’s it. Women seem to be in denial about Tom Cruise’s insanity so that’s why Suri Cruise is so watchable. That and the fact that she’s criminally cute. Pete Wentz’s kid won’t be cute even if it is cute. The parents are too fake-angsty which is the same as real angsty when you’re from Arkansas. Plus, they will probably name the kid Bruce because it’s weird, old and male enough to be edgy in that ironic hipster “smack me in the head because this is annoying” way. [source]

No comments: