The Reluctant Whore

Here’s Jeremy Piven on Good Morning America talking his way out of and yet, still into, the hole he is digging and filling regarding his recent quitting of David Mamet’s “Speed the Plow” on Broadway.

He talks his way around the whole idea that he could have somehow ingested enough mercury to get mercury poisoning which impaired his ability to continue working. Because he’s a coke hound and plays an aggressive manipulative agent on television people aren’t buying his

Mercury poisoning story right now so this is apparently damage control.
Celebrity damage control is almost always ridiculous. It’s sometimes necessary – as was the case with Queen Elizabeth around the time of Princess Diana because it became political – to go on TV and explain yourself but certainly not incessantly. If you’re going on TV and in the print media to argue about how you really aren’t lying then the trick is to avoid sounding desperate.
Piven sounds desperate.

Plus, I love how when a celebrity is acting like a freak they always have some disease no one else has – conveniently – so no massed understanding of the ailment can debunk their smoke screen. I mean, remember when Amy Winehouse had “impetigo”? Quick, no one will know what impetigo is! It'll buy us some time while we get her on some cipro and put her through some microdermabraision.

For the amount Jeremy Piven has gone on about this you’d think someone was accusing him of being gay. People who get accused of being gay never deal with the question well in the media. Actually, Chase Crawford doesn’t do too badly at it. Joy Behar asked if he and Ed Westwick were gay lovers and he rolled his eyes and fobbed the question off. He didn’t answer it but he certainly didn’t look like an earnest douche avoiding the question for what is billed as high brow political reasoning. Like Mika or Kevin Spacey or Anderson Cooper.

So, essentially, what I’m saying here is Jeremy Piven is to Mercury Toxicity as Mika was to Gay.

Yes, it is true that I could have just said that but I didn't and...here we are.