Tuesday, July 29, 2008

People Magazine is reporting that the eternally smiling, eternally posing and eternally paranoid Mario Lopez will be taking over for the eternal sell-out, Mark McGrath on the entertainment program Extra.

See, I understand getting rid of Mark McGrath – he’s so soulless and he’s getting fat and you know he’s on some kind of medication for depression and that smile is totally fake. Totally fake and desperate is what it takes to be an entertainment reporter.

What I don’t get is why everyone loves Mario Lopez so much. Sure he has a great body but his career of late – I mean, post Saved By the Bell has been based on lucky hype. He’s floated from one thing to the next on pure arbitrary hype anchored in insane hyper happiness.

I actually think he might simply be the next Jennifer Hudson in the sense that he himself isn’t really THAT great or revered. It’s actually more that people like to believe in the dream like trajectory that takes someone from essentially doomed obscurity and throws them up to achieving an actual resurgence. There’s no other way I can possibly explain Jennifer Hudson winning an Academy Award. It’s about the myth of Hollywood. It’s dream fulfilling plausibility. It keeps itself relevant by rewarding people all of a sudden out of nowhere. That keeps people on their toes.

What I actually find insufferable about Mario Lopez is the way he smiles with his tongue coming through his teeth. It’s “dumb smile”. He gets by on high impact concentrated happiness. Fake or not – it’s paying the bills. He must be a wreck. [source]

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