Thursday, July 31, 2008

Mark-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s new book “Influences” has just been released for pre-order on Amazon and boy am I excited. The book is a collection of interviews with people who have influenced the twins over the course of their incredible lives so far and you know, I think there’s a lot we can learn from them so I’m glad it’s been put into book form.

While I do think Mary Kate is more interesting than Ashley because she is at least trying to have an acting career and she insisted on spending vast sums of money on a renovated kitchen despite the fact that I think we’ll all agree she either can’t cook and or hasn’t eaten in years so it was really just a fussy little project that gave her direction for a while thus making her kind of hectic/entertaining to look at – the idea that the Olsen Twins contribute so much to culture that a book about who influences them is a fascinating one.

I guess we know who to thank for this – coked out publicists in their mid-twenties who don’t know when to stop sucking ass and just shut up for a minute. God, they really are to blame for a lot I think. I mean, I used to be one.

So anyway, there was this story I remember about how one of the Olsen Twins went to NYU and was sitting the class for rich kids who can’t think but are buying a degree at vast expense anyway and the kids were all going around the room saying their favourite book and whichever Olsen it was said “Um…my favorite candy is Tootsie Roll…”

Consequently, I will now reasonably expect for there to be an interview between Mary-Kate and a Tootsie Roll in this freaking book. Actually I hope there’s a DVD of the footage of it. Mary Kate sitting there in a kaftan, glasses as big as her stomach and four kilograms of wooden jewelry hanging about her neck and ear lobes, sitting in a chair with 8 tape recorders around her in the most expensive suite at the Waldorf Astoria looking at a gold and white silk chair upon which sits a singular Tootsie Roll. The video goes for 4 hours as Mary-Kate just keeps talking and then waiting for an answer and then talking again.

I need to know what wisdom a Tootsie Roll can impart. Need. Thank you Olsen Twins. [source]

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?