Today in Extraordinarily Odd
24 year old aspiring Miss Universe contestant Ingrid Marie Rivera smiled her way through the agonizing horror while on stage competing for the title last Friday. Someone laced all her makeup with pepper spray so when she put it all on her face she started to burn like the heathen fires of hell. But Rivera kept it perky and smiled her way through the torturous burning all over her body like a good little southern girl whose violent, Southern Comfort drunk Mama Rose mother stands in the wings. And she went on to win. She’ll now compete in the Miss Universe contest, representing Puerto Rico. Who knew those Puerto Rican bitches were so vicious. Oh, who I am kidding. Some of the Puerto Rican women in Brooklyn could maul a freaking tiger with those nails and that attitude. But you know what else? Rivera said: “At one point, I asked, 'Am I a masochist?' But I said regardless of the results, this is my goal.” Sounds like she’s got JUST about what it takes to compete in the international game.
[source]
The woman who does the announcements on the London Tube was just sacked because she decided to take it upon herself to make up a few announcements one day and the Tube people didn’t like it. On one occasion she said: "We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly." This is hilarious because it’s so English so keep all that pent up humanity inside and then spew it out at an inopportune moment, rendering oneself unemployable. What a sweet gig it would be to do announcements for the trains. I mean, you’d probably get great coffee and there’d be no heavy lifting. I used to do a similar job at a club in Australia where I’d announce the raffle so I totally know how tempted she must have been to just FUCK with the system especially seeing as her comments were more or less hilarious meaning she’s probably really talented. When I was working at the club on the microphone I somehow expanded the job into this thing where I’d wander around talking to people on the microphone like it was my own Vegas show. I got the job just as I was coming off Paxil. I tore into those raffle players like they were pieces of paper. It remains some of my most fearless work to date.
[source]
24 year old aspiring Miss Universe contestant Ingrid Marie Rivera smiled her way through the agonizing horror while on stage competing for the title last Friday. Someone laced all her makeup with pepper spray so when she put it all on her face she started to burn like the heathen fires of hell. But Rivera kept it perky and smiled her way through the torturous burning all over her body like a good little southern girl whose violent, Southern Comfort drunk Mama Rose mother stands in the wings. And she went on to win. She’ll now compete in the Miss Universe contest, representing Puerto Rico. Who knew those Puerto Rican bitches were so vicious. Oh, who I am kidding. Some of the Puerto Rican women in Brooklyn could maul a freaking tiger with those nails and that attitude. But you know what else? Rivera said: “At one point, I asked, 'Am I a masochist?' But I said regardless of the results, this is my goal.” Sounds like she’s got JUST about what it takes to compete in the international game. [source]
The woman who does the announcements on the London Tube was just sacked because she decided to take it upon herself to make up a few announcements one day and the Tube people didn’t like it. On one occasion she said: "We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly." This is hilarious because it’s so English so keep all that pent up humanity inside and then spew it out at an inopportune moment, rendering oneself unemployable. What a sweet gig it would be to do announcements for the trains. I mean, you’d probably get great coffee and there’d be no heavy lifting. I used to do a similar job at a club in Australia where I’d announce the raffle so I totally know how tempted she must have been to just FUCK with the system especially seeing as her comments were more or less hilarious meaning she’s probably really talented. When I was working at the club on the microphone I somehow expanded the job into this thing where I’d wander around talking to people on the microphone like it was my own Vegas show. I got the job just as I was coming off Paxil. I tore into those raffle players like they were pieces of paper. It remains some of my most fearless work to date. [source]
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