Heather Mills and her attention hungry, standard issue chaotic diva fag hag publicist Michele Elyzabeth have announced that they will be cutting off any media outlet that isn’t nice to Heather Mills. The idea is actually pretty gutsy seeing as even though Mills is an annoying media whore she’s right in assuming that people will want to talk to her seeing as she’s currently divorcing Paul McCartney, an ordained cultural saint in the UK.
What isn’t clear though, is how Mills will deal with the fact that she’s effectively painted herself into a corner with this decision because she’ll still be stalked and torn apart by the media and ultimately she’ll start jonesing really bad for some spotlight but she won’t be able to go anywhere. But whatever, I mean, a whore's self esteem is pretty easy to break down. It'll probably end up costing the networks nothing after a while because Mills will get so desperate. Sort of like when whores are dire need of crack that they'll do unsafe animal porn to get it. I don't know why I'm so crass and horrifying today.
Any money Mills will just choose a few major networks to align herself with no matter what. That’ll keep her veins full of exposure and she won’t freak out and explode onto TV again like she did after the brief merciful hiatus she took recently that finally ended with her interview with Matt Lauer.
Meanwhile, with all the money she’ll eventually get or has anyway, why hire a lunatic administrative aesthetician to deal with your media? Especially a matronly one with complicated hair. Where do these people meet each other and what the hell is the criteria for being hired her? You get smashed with Mills and bang, the next day you’re her publicist? Well, hang on, I sort of owe two major publicist jobs I had as a kid to that kind of transaction.
Well played Elyzabeth! Next dance please! [source]
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