Monday, May 11, 2009

Yet another mysterious beast has washed up on the North Fork of Long Island and for some reason I am less hysterical than I have been in the past when it comes to these weird hybrid beast carcasses. To be honest, the most interesting part about the video above is the fact that there’s some Long Island guy talking in a mobster accent providing running commentary in the background. Those mobster guys are so inherently likable and threatening; what a trooper.

Still, yes, there is some kind of weird human-molared carcass with white skin and tufts of black hair sprouting out from it and it doesn’t immediately look like any other type of animal so, naturally, it shall now become the physical embodiment of all irrational local fear of the immortals and, for me specifically, of my own of fundamental worldly irrelevance.

I suspect that what’s really behind this mysterious beast is just some kind of real life example of the Island of Doctor Moreau but with a tinge more military thrown in. That’s probably all it is. Chemical and biological experiments being conducted by the military near New York City and whenever they change course they just toss the mistake into the ocean and try and get on with it without dwelling too much on the abominations they keep creating. I can live with that. It’s sort of like freelance writing for gay magazines when you think about it.

Speaking of monsters returning to our collective consciousness as a metaphor, Joss Stone on The Tudors looks remarkably like Laura Bush or at least the Bush twin with blond hair who looks more like her father. It’s something in the eyes and jaw and teeth. What a surprise to be thinking about anyone in the Bush family right now. I wasn’t expecting that at all although, Laura Bush did leave such a legacy of medicated ambivalence and repressed rage that she should be a gay icon by now. Actually, George W will have to die first and she’ll need to stop wearing brown.

As Anne of Cleves, Joss Stone is clinging to a German accent and while it’s difficult to stomach that, her heavily rehearsed and strained German really is nothing compared to Jonathan Rhys Myers’ ham acting. Mind you, it is the best he’s ever done and he’s starting to learn how to deliver lines where it doesn’t always look like he’s about to pass a chair so at least we have some progress. Regardless, I, for one, am totally hooked on the show and watch each episode at least twice.

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