The Reluctant Whore

The Post reports that Nick Lachey and his heavily marinated slab of tuna girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo get paid to turn up to resorts and hang out a lot. It brings the resorts publicity so they hand over some cash and a free flight and room to the ailing pop culture duo and then their publicists do the rest. The item in The Post talks about how Lachey was pissed off at being at yet another resort but then his publicist countered with a complete denial of that. I mean, it’s fairly standard celebrity gossip. Here’s the scoop, here’s the denial blah blah blah.

Yesterday TMZ reported that Minnillo had given away some money to a homeless person and I really wondered exactly where she GOT that money. Then I realized I had been wondering what it was exactly that Nick Lachey, Vanessa Minnillo actually did for money at all ever seeing as they seem to do nothing but lounge about on holidays in Central America having sex in spa pools for the paparazzi and now we know. Lachey hasn’t had a hit since he milked his divorce for all it was worth with that song “What’s Left of Me” which admittedly did pretty well. Maybe he’s still getting royalties from the twink bars in Orlando, Florida that still play it – because it’s new there. Actually, he probably is making money off it in Europe. When I went to Paris a couple of years ago they were playing Britney circa 1998 and it was 2001. There was also no irony at all. Paris may be stunning but edgy and hip it is not.

What this really interesting about this is that it shows just how Nick Lachey manages to milk his actual life for money. He’s quite good at it really. He marries Jessica Simpson; they do a reality show. He divorces Jessica Simpson; he releases a song about the divorce. He dates Vanessa Minnillo; they go around spending his money because she has no discernible talent and shots of her shopping keep her on the d-list or they shop because she’s such a high maintenance ho that daily gifts are the only thing that will shut her up; he figures out how to get paid to stay at resorts. Pity he looks more like a bear now than ever before. He used to be smokin’. Maybe he needs to get on the treadmill and release a fitness video. The Chelsea queens would lap that shit up. [source]