The Reluctant Whore

The Olsen Twins are releasing a book called “Influence” that will feature a series of interviews they themselves apparently conducted with celebrities who have inspired and influenced them over the years. I actually find it astonishing that as I now sit here, trying to figure out who they might be aware of in the world, in any capacity at all, besides themselves and whoever they’re dating – I come up with basically nothing. Ok, I’m not really surprised at all. After all, lip gloss isn’t a person and neither is a Tootsie Roll.
To examine this in slightly more depth, here’s an editorial piece written by Mark Kate Olsen that appeared in the New York Times a year ago:

TIMELESS; Brand Loyalty

By MARY-KATE OLSEN
Published: February 25, 2007

I have a large, red quilted Chanel bag that I borrowed from my sister Ashley. I wore it to an event and never gave it back. Luckily, she's moved on to another bag, so I'm safe for now. I'm not quite sure how many bags I have, but let's just say I have a few. When I find a bag I like, I tend to wear it to death until I become obsessed with another one. This probably happens three to five times a year. But I always come back to the Chanel. The size isn't overwhelming, and it has enough subtle detail to keep it interesting.

I also have the smaller version in blue and in white, but the red is definitely my favorite. I don't have a stylist -- I'd rather just do my own thing and put together my own outfits. The chain-handle bag is the perfect accent to almost any combination I come up with. I look at everything with a designer's eye, but I wouldn't change a thing about this bag. I think that's why it's a true classic.

Wow, what a fascinating god damned insight into…I guess, handbags (I mean, doesn't anyone REALLY know what that's about? Don't be forgiving now, this is the New York Times...). I tend to think this article speaks more about the amount of Kolonopin Olsen is on than her actual understanding of the crucial topic of bags. Or, worse yet, if she’s not heavily medicated, then she is a weirdly blank freak of a person. Either way, a book that details – in words – who inspires the two of them appears destined to horrify. Actually, it’s bound to be better than that Paris Hilton book.
I suspect that it’s safe to assume that both Hilton and the Olsen Twins hired an army of ghost writers just to take care of the “content”. I mean, I would bet money on the fact that Mary-Kate thinks Bob Colacello is actually an Italian dessert. [source] [source]