The Reluctant Whore

Here’s something interesting that really lets you in on the intricate workings of the minds of famous people and the way information can be reported by random people with their own agendas. And by random people, I might mean "publicists".

Gatecrasher reports that on a recent trip to Sydney, Celine Dion wasn’t a high maintenance whore as you’d expect. No, apparently she was a model guest. It takes a lot to arrange for press like that. I mean, when you read it in Gatecrasher you know Ben Widdicombe was told what went on by someone he knows in Australia because he is Australian etc. I mean, ok sure. Ten bucks says the source was a star struck diva crazy queen who worked at the hotel.

But the thing is, I simply don’t believe that a narcissistic freak gorgon cannibal like Celine Dion was a model guest both then or in any situation. I have problems believing it. I refuse to believe it.

What is far easier to believe about Celine Dion’s stay in Sydney is that she had the entire wing of the Park Hyatt Hotel decked out in mirrors that are somehow slimming because she can never be too slim. Except for the face part which makes her face less horse-like by being one of those hilarious circus mirrors that makes you look like a short fat gangster. And also, she insists that no one comment on or make reference to the noise she makes during what her staff call “the Dark Hours” that is, the time between 2am and 4am where she looks out at the sky and shrieks like a peacock that has been essentially disemboweled and is really consciously aware of the fact that it’s dying a slow and painful painful death. But one that it opted for somehow.

That’s far more likely as far as I’m concerned.

The other tidbit of information that sounds about as planted as the news that he was frustrated and annoyed at the idea of having to wear white tie for the Queen’s visit is that George W Bush continuously ordered fried rice even after eating at official state dinners. Oh why…because the food was too fancy and uppity? Please. Actually, yes, I’d believe that he would want shitty food after being served top notch diplomatic fare. Yes. Because he’s an idiot. Plus, apparently he’s obsessed with blueberries. In what respect? Their rolling capability? I sort of feel cheap writing about how stupid George W Bush is based on this but it’s a really slow news day. I just don’t care that Dane Cook isn’t funny and I also don’t care that Miley Cyrus lost her freaking dog. [source]