The Reluctant Whore

Madonna must be breathing a sigh of relief today as news reports emerge explaining that she has inspired a statement from the Catholic church in South America, condemning her as the inspiration behind some appparently dangerous “crazy enthusiasm” and “impure thoughts”.
The Sydney Morning Herald reports:

Catholic Cardinal Jorge Medina criticised the flamboyant singer during his homily at a Mass in honour of the late dictator Augusto Pinochet.

It’s actually amazing that that wasn’t made up. The way they printed it in the Herald is just the way I copied it too. It’s one paragraph. Sort of like when you make someone stand on stage and you just throw a bucket of paint at them and then nothing else happens. It’s a standout statement by itself. Pinochet, of course, was the Chilean dictator who was responsible for the death of 2300 and the torture of 30,000 of his own people.

See, the thing is, I thought that Madonna had basically run out of steam and was outsourcing cool to several high impact 25 year olds in New York but she’s still got something going on if she is still annoying the Church. Although, it must be said that it is just the ever media attention hungry Catholic church who have a history of defining childish inanity on the world stage (see this year’s World Youth Day where they dragged a corpse half way round the world to Australia and then had a condom exclusion zone initiated for the Pope) so getting a slap on the wrist from them is like getting into a fight with Ann Coulter – it’s really just about the air time. Similarly, the Catholic official is clearly insane as he can’t see the problem with condemning Madonna and honouring Pinochet. I can’t even believe I had to write that to clarify.

So, in short: congrats to Madonna for the cultural endorsement that comes from a slap of the wrist from the Catholic church but it’s still not quite up to the standard she was once at and Catholic church; stop doing anything you freaking insane weirdo child molesters. [source]