The Reluctant Whore

Here’s Tom Cruise talking to Matt Lauer on the Today Show this morning and it’s interesting that first and foremost they spend time talking about the fact that they’re talking because, of course, last time they were at each other’s throats over the concept of pyschiatric medication. The interview is based on the fact that Tom Cruise’s new movie “Valkyrie” is about to come out but they only talk about that in the final 3-4 minutes of the interview.

Something happened to Tom Cruise where, at some point, he suddenly realised he had to stuff the crazy back inside his skull and play the normal, non-psychotic, generic, leading man again and I would love to know what that rational, ego thwarting moment actually was. It’s the professional movie star version of hitting rock bottom when you’re an alcoholic. I suspect it was something that happened around the time he was taped delivering a speech at the Scientology HQ where he was standing next to a portrait of L. Ron Hubbard and he saluted the portrait. Maybe I’m wrong though because there are so many insane moments that were documented at the time. It really could have been anything.

The fact remains though, that the whole idea that he’s celebrating 25 years of being in the movie industry is so bogus because he has actually been in the business longer than that. You have to hand it to him though because his rehabilitation a really slick, professional operation. He’s looking really good, he’s keeping it together in public, Oprah did a whole show devoted to him because they share the same demographic and now he’s back with Matt Lauer and everything is civil. I still don’t buy the forced crap about how romantic he is and how much he loves Katie Holmes but then, I’m not the demographic; midwestern housewives are so as long as they’re happily living through the blank Katie Holmes everything is going according to plan.

What will be interesting is the point at which Tom Cruise fails to contain his freakishness again and how it will inevitably come out. I imagine he’ll throw something this time. Maybe a cream puff. It’ll be at Barbara Walters and Barbara Walters will be shocked when that cream puff hits her in the face. The moment it happens whatever show they’re on will fade to black. Smoke will probably come out of the back of every TV in America at that point. That’s because Oprah loves Tom Cruise and she is controlling everything.