The Reluctant Whore

Here’s a video of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at the Republican National Convention among other things, receiving a note from Anderson Cooper that reads:

Tonight. I poop on you.

And the thing is, I genuinely find that funny I think in part because news readers are so deadpan that if they ever do anything at all weird, it’s noticed ten times more. That’s A. B, is also because I like to pay attention to what Anderson does when he’s off air because the long standing pretense of his not being gay is fascinating to me. It just goes to show how back and forth the notion of control is when it comes to official positions on things. Plus, I'm still certain he looks great naked.

The reason I bring this up is because I was interviewing someone the other day for DNA who told me that the reason the actor Jonathan Chase decided to not reprise his role as the Jock in “Another Gay Sequel” was because Perez Hilton is in the film and Chase hates Hilton because Hilton had photos of Chase and Anderson Cooper coming out of Cooper’s building together and was threatening to publish them. CNN apparently killed the story with Hilton who later denied the whole thing to my source. Chase and Cooper are apparently still together or they at least had quite a substantial thing for a while.

I don’t know who is telling the truth here about anything but gosh, it’s confusing and involving and interesting…isn’t it? I bet there are mothers in Wyoming who think Anderson Cooper is straight simply because he’s not out. Wait, do people in Wyoming watch CNN? I know they have firecrackers because I went there and that’s all we did. Blow up small piles of rocks. That’s all we could do when we traveled out on those Wyoming plains. What an interesting summer that was in 1989. I was young enough to be interested in Wyoming and not get depressed about being in it in a small van with my parents and old enough to remember.

So, in short, Anderson Cooper is funny, I guess. I never realized how funny that dog puppet is. Plus, he's brave too. I covered the RNC in 2004 and I remember just sitting on the steps with a Washington Post reporter feeling like we were alone in the desert with the Devil everywhere. We talked about our fears and in doing so felt better.