The Reluctant Whore

I'm in Sydney right now and I've been fighting the sadistic urge I have to check out the gossip press here because as much as I love reading about tired old c-list Australian starfucker "celebrities" whose last notable work was created circa 1987 but due to the cripplingly low cultural density here they're still filling the makeshift a-list spots – I thought I'd opt for a nice cup of green tea and some Pope bashing instead.

Just when I thought I'd be rid of the Pope for another 5 years when he and his sparkling ruby Prada slippers departed New York it turns out the old Nazi is headed to Australia for World Youth Day only the Australian government has dealt with it so badly it's embarrassing. If you want to protest the pope on this visit – which at this point is basically everyone bar the Catholics themselves (indeed the news item I'm citing as the source for this post says specifically the Christians, atheists and gays have banded TOGETHER to protest this) – then the state government has put in place a 5500 dollar fine if you do. No t shirts are allowed to be worn with anything protesting the church or the pope, no rallies... nothing. Not allowed.

New South Wales state Premier Morris Iemma told reporters the regulations "were brought in following consultation with the church and advice from the World Youth Day authority".

Which is fine. I mean, why shouldn't a secular government bow to the inane, dictatorial whims of a vastly ludicrous cultural organisation that has, among other things, condemned countless thousands to death for either not agreeing with it or for having unprotected sex and contracting HIV. No problem there that I can see.

My friend Marty said he's designed a t shirt that will say “I wouldn't be so pissed off with you if you'd been aborted” and I'm flying back to New York on the same day that the pope leaves; July 20, so while I failed to get my act together and pummel his Volkswagon (hello, Hitler AGAIN!) with tomatoes when he drove past my office on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan a few months ago, this time I will have to try harder. I mean, what are they going to do? Arrest me? I'm astonished at the appalling behaviour of the Australian government. I'd just love to see the state of New York try and get away with something this blatant. [source]