The Reluctant Whore

Pam Anderson and Rick Solomon have applied for a marriage license so they can get married. Well, clearly that’s why. The thing is, even though she has been married three times, this seems like it could be the one that could work the best. After all, she’s a self admitted life support system for Western culture’s most popular pair of silicone enhanced mammaries and, at heart, he’s a pimp who commodifies and sells his partners as sex objects. And furthermore, the transaction had been completely before they even met. She had sex with him to pay off a gambling debt. He bought her and now he’s going to sell her. Somehow. That’s what he did with Paris Hilton and the sex tape he leaked. His inner pimp is a genetic thing.

Rick Solomon’s been a pimp for everyone he’s dated except for when he was married to Shannen Doherty. There was very little selling going on there. After all, who would be buying? Well, people who like to abseil down some pretty prominent teeth might and then of course, the type who enjoy being screamed at, physically assaulted and then made to go shopping. Those types would be fine with being sold Shannen Doherty but probably no one else. Maybe he should have been based in New York.

But who cares about Doherty, when Solomon can now start whoring out Anderson for whatever it costs for drive through at White Castle. [source]