The Reluctant Whore

Mariah Carey must have done some research and found that conservative middle class housewives with young girls are instrumental in the sales of her records because she has come out and stated that she and her husband Nick Cannon had never actually had full sex until after they were married. They had fooled around but not actually had penetrative sex. And you know, when you’re a parent in America, irrespective of how unlikely her claim really is, that arbitrary distinction makes Mariah Carey more virtuous and also a more suitable role model for the girls who like and might want to buy her music. The fact that she’s forced her body to regress back to its 17 year old weight despite the fact that she’s pushing 40 is completely fine for kids to see and her marrying a man whom she can control with money and status is also a great example. Excellent, Mariah Carey. You are in line for the title of Zeitgeist. I mean, you won’t get it because Barack Obama, Angelina Jolie and I’ll take a guess at some burnt cheese sandwich found on the side of the road in Death Valley are way ahead of you but kudos to you for trying. [source]