The Reluctant Whore

Just when you think it might be safe for Britney Spears to come out in public again, she’s back to her old intoxicated gash flashing ways. Just like that hilarious yet unnervingly unhinged (which generally MEANS hilarious anyway) video tape she made a while back where she sort of attempted sarcasm, the one where she slipped in and out of a Valley Girl accent, and said things like “America is SO NICE”, the hilarious, sharp wit and impeccable delivery of the Brit-meister can be experienced again but this time on her own website.

She’s currently running a “competition” about what to name her “next” “album”. Ahh, yes. Before we even get to the competition, there’re just so many things wrong with that sentence.

Anyway, her site is currently saying:





Maybe the Joke is on You? Excuse me? Yeah, wow. Deep. And maybe her public unraveling was actually written by Tom Stoppard and it’s a post modern performance piece. Indeed.

The only question Spears actually brings up is “Who the mothering lesbian hell is watching Britney Spears besides the public and paparazzi?” Surely, as a product she still retains SOME value and as such, wouldn’t the minders or the investors do well to keep her the fuck away from accessing what her website says?

Isn’t that part of the Faustian deal you make when you sign on to become Britney in the first place? You just collect the check and smile at the right time? Why on earth is she changing her own website? JESUS, would someone just whip her into shape? [source]