The Reluctant Whore

Dutch people who are crippled with loneliness this Christmas can breathe a heavy sign of sadness placating relief this Christmas because the clever entrepreneurs at Tilburgs CowBoys and Theater NWE Vorst have come up with a DVD containing footage of a group of dinner party guests who are sitting around a table talking about things. The basic premise is much the same as camming with someone - don't have the real thing? Just watch it on a screen. Except this is just a bit lamer.

Regardless of being more or less lame it is certainly a bit better than shooting yourself in the head or drinking away the alienation.

Best quote ever:

"The client can watch the DVD while sitting and eating in front of the television."

Let's face it, if you're actually doing that, there's more than likely something quite seriously wrong with you which may, of course, actually be the reason you're alone so the DVD is probably helping you to get in touch with your inner repulsiveness. Therefore, it's not all totally pointless odd capitalist exploitation of human sorrow - there's something in it for the consumer too.

Let's also just paint that picture slightly clearer: if you used the DVD as suggested here, you'd be sitting in front of the television silently eating and watching people on TV talk about bland things from a script - they're not even ad libbing. It's not background noise, it's the main feature.

And you have the option of several types of conversation to watch as well:

"The actors can offer him or her a romantic evening or even a good discussion. We have a good variety in the choice of our table companions."

With DVD footage like this who needs to leave the house and talk to people? Stay at home and watch pixels, order your food online, chat with someone in a chat room, send out your laundry and have it delivered when done...the possibilty of never having to actually contact someone ever again is getting closer and closer.

Thank goodness too because everyone else is so damned tired.