For some ludicrous reason Paris Hilton was in Prague this weekend and she was being chased by paparazzi and fell over. Entertainmentwise.com suggests they were vicious paparazzi but I am not SO sure about that. If I were drunk and high I might suggest they were visionary and a sort of modern and real equivalent to the Crusader knights protecting the Holy Grail in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Apart from anything else, the basis for this news story which is making blog headlines the universe over is the fact that Paris Hilton fell over and that’s basically it. She did hurt her chin and there’s a small mark on it but I mean, she fell over. That’s the main point.
Most people are thrilled that she fell over and hurt her chin and in fact it sort of reminds me of the way the religious extremists reacted to 9/11. I mean, I make that comparison without the intention to invoke cultural outrage and accusations of sacrilege that comes with saying anything that invokes the memory of 9/11. Obviously.
This is what happens to Paris Hilton though. She runs around soaking up attention and money with the entitlement of the popular girl at school who secretly sells her ass for cash and does cocaine on weekends but always smiles at the other kids’ parents and is painfully polite. Then one tiny thing happens that may reveal or undermine her humanity and the world stops paying her for a second and they laugh and take great pleasure in her humiliation. It’s tough being the ex-zeitgeist who is trying to create unreasonable and unlikely depth for her public profile. This is exactly what happened when someone stole her sidekick.
The gold part about this, apart from her smug head smacking the ground, is the douche bag statement Benji Madden gives to the paparazzi after she falls.